Warm, glowy feeling

Just went to sign up to group 2 on MUVEnation Island and got talking to three other SLifers from groups 1,2 and 3 respectively. Two were from Spain, one was a learning technologist in compulsory education, one had experience in teacher education.

Cushions were made, a Turkish rug materialised, we joked and drank coffee by the billboards, then moved on to flaming tequilas as the sun went down. We talked about our jobs, teachers' perceptions of ILT, social networking and web 2.0. Photos were taken and we all became firm friends. My Eureka moment - my PROPER warm, glowy Eureka moment had arrived.

Activity 4: Reflecting on Identities

Today I have changed. I started the day looking like a stylised / idealised version of me, and one that I was happy to use - though I did feel a little drab in my simple outfit compared to some of the beautiful creations I saw wafting around in period dress with luxuriant wings and gothic-looking frock-coats! I made a backup copy of my avatar and proceeded to make it look more like the RL me. Immediately I didn't like her. I felt frumpy, old, baggy and unable to interact with anyone for fear of them thinking I was a dull, boring and middle-aged. I hid in a Swiss Chalet then received a request for a live chat...which I declined.

What do these rather negative adjectives mean? That I perceive the real me to be all of the above? Old, frumpy and dull? Why did I waste no time after posting the required "before and after" photos to the required blogs and flickr group in changing my appearance for the final time? I now resemble a "wish list" version of me: young-looking, wrinkle-free, slimmer, and, bizarrely, taller. Oh, and with a remarkable (though not intentional) resemblance to Kate Bush!

I really like who my avatar has become. She's a confident, attractive and enigmatic. She has all the qualities I don't (including a healthy pallour and the ability to apply eyeshadow correctly). I can live vicariously through her in a virtual world, which may be a little sad. I didn't realise that signing up for this would mean the need to find a therapist!

Note to self-well, a few puzzlements really (is "puzzlement" a word? Should be)

• what version of moodle does muvenation utilise?
• why can't I upload a picture from my hard drive when embedding an image in a forum entry? This whole URL from image properties in flickr seems a little complex. I've been an editor on moodle for years, so surely I'm not missuing something here am I?
• why are we using blogs other than those available on moodle? All this linkning from one thing to another just seems clumsy - unless, that is, it's an exercise in finding out about and using some popular applications that are part of web 2.0?
• same goes for flickr. It seems a little convoluted to use - wouldn't facebook be easier?
• is there a facebook group for muvenation students?

That sounds whiney, which it shouldn't. I'm loving this course - it really suits my interests as a long-standing nerd as well as a teacher educator. Hell, I'd do it for fun! I'm really looking forward to designing an avatar that looks like someone famous and have to say - the eureka sketch was an inspired task!

Reflection - my first hours

"Please share here your stories about your first hours of life in Second Life. Reflect on your experience: How would you describe your first steps? What were the technical issues, if any? What did you feel about the avatar you chose? What was orientation island like? Could you find help as needed? Where did you go? Did you speak to other avatars? What would improve the experience, if anything? What previous knowledge and skills helped you?"

Setting up an avatar was the easy bit. I spent a good hour meticulously making sure she was "just right", ensuring her nose was snubby enough , her eyebrows just the right shade of brown, her shoulders broad enough, neck the right length. As I've played several RPGs I felt comfortable designing a character. It was then that I realised that the default template I selected to make my avatar from was actually male. Worrying this, as it was the one that I felt most resembled me (not that I'm particularly vain you understand - I just wanted to make her look like me because it seemed like the right thing to do)...and embarrassing as I'm supposesd to be able to do this sort of "ICT" thing without making basic gender errors before even starting my journey in SL. Gah!

The real problem came from the fact that I was doing all I could to stall my first steps in the virtual world, a little like someone who continually paddles in the shallow end but (literally) refuses to take the plunge. The whole concept of SL just seemed so huge. Who would I bump into? Would I engage in electronic converation and make a terrible faux pas? The walking around - even the flying, interaction with objects, sitting, taking snapshots, going shopping - everything was easy and felt natural. Talking to complete strangers scared the crap out of me. Still does a little, truth be known. I still edge away from anyone who starts walking towards me, as I'm just no good at small talk in any medium.

I'm not saying that I don't enjoy this new virtual world - I'm just very shy, and, as in real life, like finding empty little corners that I can go and explore on my own without having to make small talk.

In my first 3 hours online I was asked for help by a newbie, chatted to a girl in a PVC "Catwoman" costume and was bitten by a vampire. I visited Sloodle Island and hung out there on my own for a while. to think about this new world. I was invited to join a group when I left the island and am now looking for my RL husband who has been intrigued enough with what I'm doing to design his own avatar. Jammy sod managed to pick the correct gender too!

So I'm living SL very much like RL. I don't ask for help-would rather find it all out for myself. Will happily engage in conversation eventually but need some time and gentle nudging before committing.

Oh -and I love my gender-confused avatar!